Sunday, 31 May 2015

Don’t develop "Can't Do" mindset in your Children

As a parent, we always tend to protect our Children when they grew up. It is very much required to guide our Children in right direction and develop good manners when they are growing up. But, it shouldn’t leads to monitoring everything they do and discouraging them when they try to do something new and explore the World on their own way. This will unconsciously develop “can’t do’ mindset in their inner soul and they fear to take risk at later stage in their life. I would like to explain this with a small illustration.

An elephant can lift in excess of a ton of weight with just its trunk. Still an elephant is conditioned to stay in one place with a weak rope and a stake. Only a small rope tied to its front leg holds an elephant. Even no chains or no cages are required. It is obvious that the elephant can, at anytime, break away from its bonds but for some reason, it does not. The reason is that, when the elephant was a baby and much smaller, it was tied to a strong chain and strong tree. The baby is weak but the chain and tree were strong. The baby was not used to being tied, so it keeps tugging and pulling the chain, in vain. A day comes when it realizes that all the tugging and pulling will not help and it gives up, thinking that it cannot break away from the bond. It stops and stands still.

And when the baby elephant becomes the mighty giant elephant, he is tied with a weak rope and a small stake. The elephant could with one tug, walk away free, but it goes nowhere because it has been conditioned to believe that it cannot break away. It believes that the rope can still hold it, so the elephant never tries to break free.

Reflection: Like the elephants, our Children also go through life hanging onto a belief that they cannot do something, simply because parents failed to make them believe that they can do it. They also being held back by old beliefs and avoid trying something new because of a limiting belief about themselves and past experience of discouragement from parents and society. At times, they also held back by someone else limiting beliefs about themselves.

As a parent, we need to develop clarity of mind, due application, adequate skills, focus on goal and lot of initiative in our Children which makes them to break all obstacles in future to explore and conquer the success in their chosen field.

14 comments:

Joy said...

That is a great reminder for parents.

JoJo said...

Oh yeah....my mom was huge on 'no you can't do that'. There was very little encouragement in my home; at least concerning things I wanted to do and was interested in. I heard 'no absolutely not' 99% of the time. Wanting to be an exchange student or host one, trips I wanted to take, etc. I steamed ahead and did what I could on my own, and then they wondered why I moved 3000 miles away as soon as I was able! lol

Olga Hebert said...

That is so interesting about the elephant and certainly an apt analogy.

Jo said...

Dunno much about kids, never had any, but I feel sorry for the poor elephant. I do understand what you are saying about conditioning though.

Nancy Chan said...

I grew up with a "can't do" mindset. But thank God, with some assurance and encouragement, I have surely and slowly came out of the negative mind-set. And I have found that I can do lots of things which I thought I couldn't do.

whiteangel said...

My sons are all grown up now.
Parents sometimes can be too protective..

eileeninmd said...

Great post and advice to parents. I also feel sorry for the elephants, they should be wild and free.

Enjoy your Monday and have a happy week ahead!

Stephanie Faris said...

There's an old story about a teacher who put a math problem on a board and told his class that it was a problem that had never been solved. The students were then invited to give it a try. A student came in late, saw everyone working the problem, and started working it himself. That student solved the problem within minutes--but only because he hadn't heard that it was an unsolvable equation.

Stephanie Faris said...

(By the way, I heard that story LONG before Good Will Hunting came out!)

Christine said...

great advice.

blogoratti said...

Those are great thoughts, thanks for sharing!

Namrata Kumari said...

I totally believe in what you said. Mindset plays a great role in defining a person. Our achievements, our career, success, everything is a result of our mindset and attitude towards life. If parents try to instill positivity and 'we can do it' attitude into their children, this could work wonder for the world.

Creations By Cindy said...

Our pastor used this as an illustration once in church! WOW! Thanks for posting this. A great read for me especially after hearing it used in a sermon. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

Lowcarb team member said...

Some good points in your post ...

All the best Jan

Template Credit: Our Blog Templates
Copyright © 2011-2017 Weekend-Windup All Rights Reserved. Sitemap...Back to TOP